I never had any problem making friends. That I can proudly share it here.

In kindergarten till high school, I was never afraid of having to stay alone. I always had my good friends by my side. During pause, we always hang out at the balcony outside our class, eat snacks and talk shitty chit chat. And even during class, we always find out ways to have fun. PUBG, billiards, mini-golf… on our phone, even there was a time when we finished the whole game, the bell for school break rang on the same time. Skipping class happens not so often, but I got to admit, whenever you skip class with your friends for a brief coffee chill, it was always memorable.

And then come… University.

The real heaven on Earth to make friends. Especially when you are a foreign student having trouble hearing German, it can become a real challenge when making new friends. And it takes me a long time to establish new network here.

But after all, I manage to get it through. Not only can I find many new connections, but also I can improve my conversion rate to a healthy friendship.

Using only these 3 principles.

#1: Follow this Platinum Rule and reach to every people.

There is a Gold Rule in life, that goes:

• ” You should treat people as you would want to be treated.”

That’s such a good rule, and I would recommend more people practice it. But there is also a secret upgraded version of this rule. People often hide it as its power is too strong to fully harness. Those who can utilize this rule can effectively control your relationship and influence people.

People call it: “The Platinum Rule”:

• “You should treat people as they would want to be treated.”

As it is a powerful technique, you have to learn the basic it first to control its power.

Now, you wouldn’t know how they want to be treated the first time you meet them, right?

You need to at least have access to the surface of their life.

Their interests, hobbys, thoughts, or even their goals, ambitions,… you should have it noted down.

• “But I can’t talk to those people I just met about those topics. It’s too personal.”

That’s your next step: Learn how to do small talk. It’s extremely useful in this modern society, as people love to have small talk. You can use it to find out to some extent what keep your partner interested in. Remember it to use it for the next you meet.

Okay things are going good. You and your “potential” friend are having a good talk about soccer – you guys both love it.

From then, it’s basically your ability to keep the conversation flow.

But that’s another problem that so many people make.

#2: Silence is gold – in every way.

Of course, I don’t mean here that you have to keep your mouth shut and let your partner do all the talking. It would be amazing if your partner knows hand signals, but no we won’t need to do that.

If you are talking 1-1, it’s important to let people know you are actually listening and interested in their talk. Most people can do the first part, but the second requires from you a huge amount of patience, especially if you don’t know (or care) about what they are talking about. If you are talking a bigger group, you should put your voices a little bit more often. Let them know that you exist. Only talk when no one are talking, and don’t let other people interfere when you have the mic.

Keep this in mind: They remember more for what you make them feel, not what you say to them. Try to stay in a positive vibe with them: Learn to make and hold eye contact, smile, give a positive affirmation, … are all good ways. Listen and remember the details. Like I mentioned, you can use it for later meetings. You can’t imagine, how people can appreciate you for remembering those small infos.

And please, do not brag about yourself. I have seen so many incidents, which bragging lead to either embarrassment or a rage-quit from both sides. I have even seen where they try to outshine each other, and it was so Cringey. I couldn’t stay to hear them brag about their underwear price or their connection to a super rich family (who barely know him, I asked).

Okay, you can keep your mouh shut. You can listen to them and take actual interest in their talk.

Now what’s the last part ?

#3: They want to be friend with you – Not your Stunt Double

Many people take fake interest to get close to others.

I don’t mean acting is bad, but even actors can’t keep their character in place after filming. And they do it for a living.

You can act, but sooner or later, your friend will know. It can lead to a weak and unhealthy relationship, because it was based on fake interest.

Always try to be yourself. If you don’t share a similar vision and hobbies with someone, it doesn’t mean you can’t develop a friendship.

• “A true friend is like a deep ocean who observes all the flaws of another person,”

You also don’t need to push yourself too hard. It’s always better to check for a potential friendship than jumping right into one.

And most importantly: The reversed Platinum Rule: “Let them treat you the way you want”

This can really save your emotion in every relationship.

If you want people treat you differently, please express it. It’s totally find to have boundaries. They can find you more interesting, as not many can show them their vulnerability.

One more thing about vulnerability: They’re a powerful weapon when used correctly. You can show them your weakness, tell them with confidence. But refrain from flooding them with all of your problems, your pains. Some people can use it for bad purpose against you, and almost everybody don’t care about your issues. The only thought they will have is: “What disturbing guy”.

It’s totally different than telling your close friends or your family. They care about you, not some people that just appear in your life.

We can have a lot of online friends. But few can we directly talk to in real life. It may be scary to put yourself out there and spark up a conversation, but the reward is greater than the risk. You never know, you may meet someone who could end up being a friend for life.