Hi,
It’s been a long time since I last posted. I was too busy with other aspects of my life that I forgot about this part of me: a writer. The last time I wrote something meaningful was… yesterday, when I was writing to my mom. The conversation was quite alright, I guess. My mom still asked me the same thing she asked when I first came to Germany. My health, my eating, study, sleep… And every time I upset her with my answer.
She asked me on the video chat:” Hey, everything alright with you?” as a routine. I was a bit reluctant to answer, knowing her character. But f*** it, what’s do I have to lose? At least if she wanted to hit me, 10 thousand kilometers distance will slow her down a while. So I answered with confidence: “Hey ma, everything good with me. Oh and to let you know, I decided to spend a bit of money for this online course. I want to le..a…r.. som…th… sin…ce… I…”. I stand no chance to raise my voice, as I have to compete with the one-and-only speaking machine. I have to wait for my turn.
She asked me questions like I am being interrogated: “ What course ?” – “UX/UI ma”, “What is it ?” – “Ma, it is like designing interface and writing struc…”, “ How much ?” – “….”.
Yeah I couldn’t answer her. I spent like half of my part-time salary for the course. If she knew I was spending that much on something, the only thing I will be getting will be live video lectures on being a responsible teenager.
I could lie. She won’t know and I will have my peace. But no, I didn’t.
I told her with confidence: ”Ma, I spent ****$ for this. It’s like half of my salary. But I really like the course and it offer installment payme….n…t”. I was pretty sure my confidence had no impact here. There she went again, yelling like she was right beside me. But I knew, I made the right choice when she asked me:” Son, why do you always want something strange? Why can’t you live like a normal student? “
No mom, I will never live a mediocre live.
I actually had that mindset since I was a kid. And I am sure that many people as a kid also had it. It’s called a “dream”. Being rich, marrying beautiful wife, luxurious cars, private jet… or to phrase it in a simpler way: “I want…”.
When I and many other people went to school, we had to adapt to many situations to fit in with the social groups. Our “dream”, our desire started to shrink . We kept a one-minded thinking to get along with other people. People started to mush in a giant bowl of soup, bland and no favor.
I can’t live that way. It bores me straight to the core. The idea of letting other people decide your dream, giving idea about how you should live, sicken me. Only you can and will control your life, your dream. If I want something, I will get it by myself. You don’t need to wait for people to approve your decision to do it. Time is limited and if you’re not fast enough, someone else will take your opportunity.
I like making decision, especially when our social groups are voting for a decision.
As I have mentioned, many people have mushed into a giant bowl of bland soup. And they won’t have any flavor to themselves. That’s why they will wait for approval with the majority.
I really like this trick and have actually used it successfully many times. All I have to do is choose what I want to do, and only me. Most of the time, what you will hear is the same voice: “Yes” or “No”.
If it’s “Yes”, which happens more than you think, I get to go out with my friends and do things I want . If it’s “No”, repeat the same process with a different thing you want. They may not be happy with your opinion, but don’t forget, they don’t have any flavour. You are the star of the meal, and you decide if your friends will have fun with you or not.
It’s so simple to live a good life when you have flavor. You can also send flavor to many other people and have a big impact on their life. Their boring, dull bowl of soup will always be ready for flavour.
But to maintain it takes effort, you will need to consistently improve yourself. You will need to experience a lot, dare to challenge and try new things. Through those experience, you will find yourself. You will realize you have a life that many can’t never achieve. From then, it’s your choice to bring flavor to your life and others.
No responses yet