Self-Improvement For Men in Their 20s: 3 Important Principles that will upgrade your life.

So finally, the day has come.

My worst day. Where I had to put on all these pathetic stories, to prove one point:

I wasn’t living like a man. But I can change.

At 18 years of age, I was a little fat kid. I was so fat, that even my mind can’t withstand the pressure: I was always blurry with my thinking. I stuffed my brain with so much food that I couldn’t ever think straight. It was so horrible, that people call me a “dumbass” all that time.

Before I took my trip to Germany, Covid-19 was all over the place. During lockdown, I stayed at home all the time. I decided to spend some of my love for GTA 5. That was a beautiful time between us, I gave my character a few hours right after waking up to build my factory and do some heists. My usual breakfast was often what my mom cooked in a bowl, delivered right next to my desk. I couldn’t skip the heists, and the food was delicious, so my mom often spooned me….

340 hours on this game. Holy f*ck !

Just Kidding, but for real, I can’t even taste my mom’s food as I was too focused on my freaking GTA missions. After gaming, I am just… blanked out. I didn’t know what to do. I had nothing to do. No goals. No missions. And I never felt so bored. I hated my ordinary life. Food, Game, Family Meeting, then Food, Game… The vicious cycle. I just felt in my mind, telling me: “This is not the life I want.”

Right after moving to Germany, I find my own freedom. I decide to have these 3 principles to build my life. And so far, these 3 rules have COMPLETELY changed my life.

#1. Get your health in order (physically and mentally)

Our society today is so weird that it’s almost ‘taboo’ to be masculine.

Females want to have more power and rights. But that’s their problem, not ours.

We need to become powerful, capable men. Why?

Imagine this, you’re on your way home with your girl. The trip is short so you decided to walk. While walking by the Main Train Station, you see 3 homeless guys. They are drunk and filled with stinky smells. They approached you with 2 bottles of Absolut Vodka, begging for coins. You declined politely and hold her hands to move along.

What if in that situation, one of them decides to stand in your way, and signal others to rob you?

Will you scream for help from your girl or run for your life?

Because you never face violence and have no capability to defend anyone?

No, a real man will defend anyone he cares about – because he wants and you can.

Okay, so what’s the quickest way to signal your masculinity?

First, FITNESS. I have never seen a man who is ripped, 6 packs, and have any issues with his health. Yet I have seen so many men who are obese, who can’t even walk normally. Or those who are too skinny, who look like they never lift anything in their life.

You can’t demand masculinity when your body is not ready for it.

Start working out. Push, pull, legs, or whatever training plan you try.

Get to work and lift heavy. It’s better to have some friends beside you. Keep you motivated. Because you need to give it consistently. 3-4 days a week, for 90% of the time.

Your diet and your recovery plan are also important. Whether it’s losing or gaining weight, diet will decide 70% of your journey. Make sure also to get enough sleep. 7-8 hours is enough most of the time.

Second, Mindset.

Months after months of training, you gave it all. You finally have your dream physique. You’re jacked and people want to talk to you. But you realize, you are just the same character as before. You need to update your mind.

Reading good books is what many recommend. I have read some great books. I love the book “48 Laws of Power” by Robert Greene, which I spent my whole Math lectures reading. Meu Pé de Laranja Lima (English: My Sweet Orange Tree), a novel by José Mauro de Vasconcelos is also great for entertainment (actually trauma).

Podcasts are also a great way to enrich your soul. That’s where I first learn, from Dr. Jordan Peterson, how I should steer my life as a young man. And again Dr. Robert Greene is a brilliant man, I often listen to his podcasts on various topics.

Of course, you can’t stay home forever, listening to Youtube or reading books. Go outside, live in the real world. But now, you want to have a different approach. You need to live with uncertainty and embrace yourself with uncomfortableness. That’s when you will grow. It’s a really important part of this principle:

#2: Work harder – take more accountability

You’re not your fatty version anymore. You train and you now have bigger strength and longer endurance.

You have solid background knowledge of your work, even though you’re a freshman.

You’re now ready to take in more work, more responsibility.

Some will say: “But it’s too much for me, I can’t take it. I am not ready for it.”.

You will never be ready for everything. But those who dare to take it and grow will outgrow everybody. Take the job with integrity, finish it with your 120% power, and then repeat the same thing. You will fail sometimes, but most of the time, you will get your medals.

You will also, sooner or later, have to lead people. It’s never easy to be a leader, but then once again, we never strive for easiness. Be confident, decisive with your plan and your decision. Encourage people whom you are leading, create a situation in which working leads to their growth too, not just yours.

#3: Limit all useless activities – you have more important things.

I quit gaming a year ago.

And ever since, whenever I turn on my computer and clicked on Steam to find FIFA 22 there, I can never feel as excited as before.

There’re so many things that getting on my nerves now.

University exams, my Copywriting work, my Restaurant work, my Blogging… I just don’t have time to play games anymore.

There’s a term in finance called ROI (Return on Investment). For every hour I invest in gaming, I don’t see any return, except for fun. And I don’t even have any fun playing those games. What’s the point of spending a whole hour to get your character 3 mil $, while you don’t even have enough money to have a proper date? It’s a simple lose-lose situation.

I choose to invest my time in the Gym, in Kickboxing. I learn how to do Copywriting. I come up with ideas for my blog at around midnight and write them right before I sleep.

And I never regret a single of them.

Every one of you will have your own journey, your own important tasks. But as long as you’re doing it with high ROI for yourself, do it. You won’t ever regret it.

It’s great to add someone who shares the same task. Cut loose with those who don’t. Your time is valuable.

That’s all for today.

All that’s left now is to get to work.

Never stop learning, and never stop growing.

You’ve got this.

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